WHEN I first began working as the youth journalist for The Catholic Leader, I immediately set my heart on finding Pope Francis in Rio de Janeiro.
Not surprisingly, 3.7 million other young Catholics from the world had the same idea.
Fortunately for me, the World Youth Day experience extended beyond a crushed dream to rub shoulders with the leader of my beloved Church.
They say that when a tourist leaves their home, they come back with heavier luggage, but when a pilgrim leaves their home, they return with a lighter heart.
In many ways, I left the beautiful city of Rio with a lighter, more trusting heart.
Not long before boarding the plane to South America where I would spend six days in Valparaiso, Chile, God made a slight adjustment to my vocation plans.
I was back in the “Catholic singles market”.
I flew over the Pacific Ocean, reflecting on the fact that I had reclined back into “the market”, and not finding much consolation in being thousands of kilometers above ground.
It was a moment I call my agony in the sky.
But just as passengers are required to return their seat to an upright position during takeoff or landing, I myself had a bit of straightening up to do.
This happened in Chile.
I must have come off as a moody, introverted foreigner, walking around with meters of barbed wire wrapped around my heart, because I struggled to connect with anybody on a deeper level.
Truly, I was in a state of grieving that denied anybody access to my usual joyful self.
During the 2008 World Youth Day in Sydney, I fell into a state of monotony that left me apathetic about the gathering of the whole universal Church.
I spent most of the Vigil with headphones in my ears, listening to Brooke Fraser.
I was determined never to repeat such sad behavior, but my mood in Chile seemed like it was headed for a carbon copy of Emilie, the 20-year old sulky pilgrim.
On one bus trip back to our Chilean home stay, I put in my headphones to alert any pilgrims that I was not vacant for chats, and pressed play on a song called Therapy.
“This is my therapy, cause you won’t take my calls and that makes God the only One that’s left to listen in to me.”
In that song, I encountered God’s jealous love for me, begging me to live completely for Him, totally surrendered to His grace.
That encounter with God, made manifest through the simple lyrics of a Christian pop song, stirred something in my heart.
God’s grace was pulling me back to a life full of joy, not distress; full of hope and not despair.
On July 14, heaving a group of teary-eyed Chileans, who were now close friends, we headed for our final destination, Rio de Janeiro.
This time, I flew with a heart full of hope, and an eagerness to connect with the joy of the Risen Christ.
During World Youth Day, I created a number of precious memories, which helped to lighten my heart.
I prayed an hour before the Blessed Sacrament held in a Monstrance that was blessed by Pope John Paul II, a fact kept secret until moments before Exposition.
I hugged Catholic music missionary Danielle Rose and saw her play the only two songs of hers I know.
I cried for twenty minutes during a reflection on Pope John Paul II.
And the Holy Father waved to me from his Popemobile, or so I’d like to think.
Without God’s graces, I’m sure I would have missed those encounters.
But with God, all things are possible, even for newly single ladies.
World Youth Day reignited my joy for life, but not a life that I’ve planned – it’s a life written by God, who wants me all to Himself.
And that is the look of a pilgrim with a lighter heart.
