NATHAN Parker’s lifetime dream to become a fighter pilot came crashing down in a tragic road accident, but what’s happened after that has led to him becoming the 2021 NSW Young Australian of the Year.
The 25-year-old Lismore Catholic only ever had one boyhood ambition – to become a fighter pilot in the Royal Australian Air Force – and he was on his way to achieving that having been accepted into the RAAF as a trainee pilot on leaving high school in 2013 and being in training.
That all changed when a military bus accident on the way back from a training exercise left him badly injured and his left hand amputated.
Five years on, the Australian of the Year judges have hailed Nathan’s courage and determination, and his achievements, including his return to flying, becoming a commercial pilot and flight instructor, and winning gold for Australia at the Invictus Games.
More importantly, Nathan’s used the lessons he’s learned from his own adversity for the good of others as a public speaker and mentor, and is aspiring to provide joy flights for sick children.
He said receiving the award was “a huge honour but, for me, I really just see myself as a normal guy trying to make the most of the situation I found myself in”.
Nathan, a former student of St Carthage’s Primary School and Trinity College in Lismore, NSW, lives by a motto that features on the homepage of his website: “Transform your toughest times into your greatest opportunities”.
“For me, the toughest time was probably two days after the bus accident,” he said.
“It was then that it really all started to sink in what had happened but also what that probably meant going forward as well.
“And accompanied with that was not only a massive time for my health and, I guess, my personality or identity but also a big change in what my aspirations and outlook were for the future as well potentially.
“So it was sort of all this big uncertainty dumped on me all at once which was pretty difficult.”
He said that was probably “the worst day I’ve had”.
“But then I was lucky enough to have pretty incredible support, and especially from my family, and it sort of helped pull me out of that and we were able to very quickly shift …,” he said.
“We didn’t know what the future was going to look like, we didn’t know what life lay ahead for me but we could focus on just trying to do whatever we could each day to help me get better and get back to normal life.”
That’s when the Lismore community support rallied around too.
“We have a pretty awesome parish down there in South Lismore and even from the time of the accident my parents were getting messages of support and prayers from the parish,” Nathan said.
His parents Jo-Ann and Anthony Parker work at Our Lady Help of Christians Primary School, South Lismore.
“I know a lot of the parishioners, especially when I went back to Canberra and was facing different challenges …, a lot of them were very supportive of Mum through the school and the parish.
“They were very supportive of Mum and my family as well.”
Nathan said the second part of the quote about “transforming your toughest times into your greatest opportunities” was what his life was about.
“I think it summarises my whole journey, really, in that, at the time, it was quite a challenging and tough time but, looking back on it, I probably wouldn’t go back and change it,” he said.
“I’ve had so many incredible opportunities that have come out of such a difficult thing both in terms of things I’ve been able to do such as return to flying and go represent Australia at the Invictus Games, but also just the opportunity to improve and grow in myself in terms of lessons I’ve learnt through going through those tough times, and the various challenges I’ve had to overcome has really made a massive impact in my life overall.
“I think for me the key there is that my aim is to try and, I guess, inspire or give people hope that, yes, we have tough times but great opportunities can come from that and there’s so much we can get from even the darkest of days or toughest of times that we have to face.”
His journey since the bus accident “has been not so much about seeing obstacles but seeing opportunities to find what my new limitations are or to find opportunities to find different ways of doing things that I may not have expected”.
Family support has played a big part in helping him find the courage and determination to live that way.
“I think the other thing, too, was just I was very lucky in the early days to have a mentor or a role model of mine visit me in hospital who himself had overcome pretty horrific injuries,” Nathan said.
“And that gave me hope that if he could overcome his challenges and his injuries and go on and live an amazing life then maybe I could too.
“I think it was almost that became that light at the end of the tunnel that no matter how hard it got, it is possible to get through that.
“So that also helped me when things got tough or challenging, to know that someone else had confronted similar or worse things and been able to get through it, and that maybe I could too.”
It all took hard work but, for Nathan, “it was always about consistent, small choices one at a time”.
“Even my first goal in my recovery was, that when I was trapped in the bus, to focus on my breathing and arrive at the hospital with a pulse because I figured that if I ticked that off then I’d probably live,” he said.
“Often the times I started to find myself struggling the most, that was when I was trying to look too far ahead or bite off too much at once.
“And it was all about coming back to, ‘If I can do one thing today that’s going to move me closer to getting better or to overcoming the challenge … if I could even just do one thing that gets me further than I was yesterday …’
“And it was just the small steps, each and every time.”
A big moment in Nathan’s recovery was flying again.
“Probably the pivotal moment for me, was getting back into the air for the first time,” he said.
“I think, for me, looking back on it, lying in that hospital bed, moving my hand was only a minor concern compared to the loss of my childhood dream of being a fighter pilot which I’d had from an incredibly young age.
“So being able to get back into the air bolstered that hope that maybe I could still fly in some capacity.
“And to have done that only three months after the accident really changed my whole outlook towards how I viewed the path going forward but also gave me a massive sense of hope at the end of the tunnel that maybe I don’t have to just get back to normal – maybe I can still chase the dreams that I have …”
On that first day he returned to the air with an instructor in Lismore “and basically they sort of supervised and assisted me as needed”.
“But it was more just about getting in the aeroplane with the prosthetic arm and seeing if it was possible or what sort of challenges we’d have to overcome to try and make it happen,” Nathan said.
“I’ve still got the video of (that first flight) somewhere and I think I was smiling the whole time.
“There was a lot of nervousness and apprehension leading up to it but from the minute we left the ground, and to look down and see myself flying an aeroplane with a prosthetic hand, having previously thought that I’d never fly again, that was a pretty special moment.”
It was never a case of Nathan wanting anyone “to guarantee me I could do something”.
“All I ever really needed was the opportunity to try to see what was possible and then we’d find out either if it would work or it wouldn’t but at least having the opportunity to try and see for myself what could or couldn’t happen was a pretty powerful thing,” he said.
What gives him greatest joy now “is paying it forward, being able to use the lessons I’ve learnt or to use my experience to help other people overcome their challenge”.
“I think, for me, when I had that other amputee visit me in hospital, and at that point in time, my goal was if I could do that for one other person …,” he said.
“If I do nothing else in my lifetime but be able to help someone else in their darkest days or their toughest times, to give them that sense of hope that they could get through it and to support them on that journey then that’d be a life well lived I think.”
His goal is to be able full-time to combine flying with mentoring and giving motivational talks.
He’s shared his story at primary schools, high schools, university groups, business groups and community groups, emphasising the importance of resilience.
“I found when I was (facing) my challenge that it seemed like only sports starts or those really inspiring people in the community had resilience but I think the key message is that all of us have the ability and the capacity to be resilient,” he said.
“We don’t have to have some special gift or some special talent.
“It’s all just about making those consistent, small choices and trying to better ourselves or our situation each and every day.
“And I think that and the hope (are key) and it’s the idea that we can overcome challenges. We can transform our toughest times to our greatest opportunities, and I think that’s something we’re all capable of.”
