SHE’S “happiest when the car is full and extra chairs are needed around the dinner table”.
Megan Stannard has just the right mix of virtues to capably mother her three children and accept those others entrusted to her care.
“Being a mum is my greatest joy, my greatest triumph, and I wouldn’t change a moment,” she said of her relationship with children Georgia, 10, Zachary, 8, and Ryan, 7.
“Every day with them is a wonderful adventure.”
However, Megan’s “wonderful adventure” into motherhood has had its challenges, feeling she had no choice but to leave her marriage when her youngest was a newborn.
“I had to toughen up quickly,” she said of that time.
“I had always gone to church every week … and in this time of my life I had to gather every bit of strength each week to keep a positive attitude.
“It was at weekly Mass I realised that I was able to gather heaps of strength and hope.”
While the Sunnybank parishioner found it “hard to take three young children to Mass alone”, she persisted.
“If I didn’t (go to Mass) I may not have the strength for the week ahead,” Megan said.
“It worked and we sailed through the next few years – not only were the bills paid but everyone felt safe and we had heaps of fun together.
“Now I sit in Mass with my three children and … laugh to myself about what I call the ‘taking years’.
“I came to Mass to ‘take’ as much as I could.
“I smile to myself about how hard it was to juggle nursing all of them in Mass and all the tricks I tried to keep them entertained.”
With resilient faith, modelled by parents Mick and Moyra Carroll, of Runcorn, the family “have never felt ‘broken'”.
“We live each day with a great love of life and a good sense of respect for each other,” Megan said.
“I grew up in a great home – peaceful and fun – with a beautiful family.
“We were always encouraged to be respectful of each other and to not judge others.”
Having studied nursing in her 20s, Megan felt called to another “caring” role in recent years.
“Years ago I saw a foster carer with some children and instantly knew it was something we could do,” she said.
“Georgia, Zachary and Ryan, although so young, show the greatest ability to love another.
“They not only have to share their own mother with a stranger but have to share their toys, space in the car and have to move along at the dining table to make room.
“(But) the moment each foster child arrives at our door they are a part of our family.
“We love them and they stay in our family as long as they need somewhere safe to stay.”
So far the Stannards have fostered eight children – three girls and five boys aged from three months to six years – and generally only one at a time.
The impact on the primary schoolers who attend Our Lady of Lourdes, Sunnybank, has been significant.
“Since we started foster care we have all met many different people and seen inside many different homes and lifestyles unlike ours,” Megan said.
“Georgia, Zachary and Ryan have learnt earlier in their lives than I ever did how to love someone in need and to not judge others.”
Megan said she “accepts it’s not everyone’s ideal lifestyle” but she “enjoys having lots of children at home”, adding, “I love it so much”.
Asked about the “giving back” process, the woman of faith was honest.
“People often ask me, ‘How can you give them (foster children) back?’ she said.
“I say, ‘It is not a question of whether to give them back or not but just how long it will hurt after they go’.
“It is very hard because we let ourselves love them and their families.
“But it is that same love that we have for them which allows us to care for them that also gives us the strength to let them go when it is time.
“I want the best for them and when they have an opportunity to return to their own family, I want that for each of them.”
While the farewell is often “hurtful” the Stannards agreed “no tear is wasted”.
“Every tear we shed for them is a tribute to each child and how special they are to us,” Megan said.
“They give so much to our family.
“They each bring special gifts and remind us how important it is to love another as close as we can to our heart, every chance we get, even if it hurts when they leave.
Each child leaves behind such wonderful, often funny memories with us.”
What has been more “heartbreaking” for the family is seeing the fostered littlies affected by their past.
“Often the foster children are very troubled because they have been abused or been abused with substances before they were even born,” Megan said.
“It is heartbreaking to see them struggle with everyday things that we just take for granted.
“(But) they all fit in at home so quickly and over time, learn to feel safe.”
A little boy who stayed for a year “broke” the family’s “hearts” because of his long stay and swift farewell.
“When he left to be in a new placement with his brothers we were really sad,” Megan said of that goodbye.
“We often don’t have much time to prepare for their arrival or their departure.”
As a result Megan decided midway through this year to fulfil a life-long dream.
“I took the kids out of school for eight weeks and we travelled around Australia,” she said.
“We went away together to get away from the city and to have heaps of family fun time, uninterrupted.
“We took my parents … and we all had a fantastic time.
“We celebrated our lives so far, and enjoyed our beautiful country we are so fortunate to live in.
“We had a lot of time to appreciate family life and be thankful for each other and the family and friends back at home.”
Having farewelled a girl of two years in November, Megan said she admired her children for the acceptance and love they constantly offered.
“I hope my children know how I admire their strength to trust and to love each child and their families that come into our home,” Megan said.
“(And) that they continue to use their amazing talents to help others in their lives.”
This December 25, the Stannards will be “cooling off” in the family pool and thinking of all the “little ones” who have shared their lives “hoping they too may have a merry and peaceful Christmas”.
“I hope each foster child who we care for feels safe and truly loved for who they are when they came to us and the person they become when they leave,” Megan said.
“I hope they know that we will always ‘move around to make room’ for them at our table.”
