By Adam Burns
WINTER has begun and it’s cold – so very cold.
I wasn’t ready for it to be this cold.
Maybe it’s my Filipino genes, maybe I’m just soft, but my body just doesn’t cope with the cooler climates of winter.
Disappointingly, my once reliable collection of old hoodies and my only pair of track pants, which was once part of my school basketball team’s warm-up uniform, lacked the necessary warmth.
Thus, I decided it was time to ditch the sentiment in favour of actually being warm.
So it was that I found myself in the menswear section of a store, searching for the right fit.
It seemed I got to the “buy warm clothes” party about a week late, as I dug through messy mounds of winter wear.
What began as an innocent search for new clothes quickly became a battle of comfort versus style – to what level of dagginess was I prepared to stoop in my search for warmth?
However, in the end it became a search for something that would actually fit me.
The process looked a bit like this.
Adam picks up garment, Adam decides said garment meets warmth and/or style conditions, Adam tries on said garment, said garment does not fit Adam, process repeats.
My usual clothes-shopping routine is nowhere near this involved, however the rather diminished range of sizes forced me to actually try on each piece of clothing to check if the bigger or smaller size would still fit.
Then I found it – a blue jumper, thick material, only minimally bogan-looking and in the right size.
It was too good to be true, so I double-checked for any tears, holes or stains.
It was good. Finally, I found the right fit.
My shopping experience somewhat resembles the vocational journey.
Like my search for the right winter clothing, the discernment journey has many elements.
When looking at ordained, religious, single or married life, one might ask: Which option would best function for me?
Which looks good?
But then one might come to a point where they look beyond the aesthetic value and get to what we might call the “nitty gritty” vocation question: “Is this where I fit?”
It is crucial however that this process of “trying on” actually happens.
Window-shopping for a vocation will rarely lead to the conviction one needs to fully live God’s call.
I think part of this is seeing a vocation as a lifelong decision-making process, not one decision made for life.
That’s why, for example, a man goes through a discernment and application process before he even goes to the seminary, then spends almost seven years in formation before he becomes a priest.
Regardless of which state of life we end up in, it’s still a daily decision.
Every day I have to make choices about who I am; I’m not automatically me.
Likewise, every priest, nun, sister, brother, husband, wife and lay person has to choose how they live out their vocation regardless of which state of life they are in.
Additionally, it’s not something we decide on our own.
When my girlfriend noticed my new jumper, which I interpreted as her approval, it was confirmation I had made the right choice – though now I’m realising she didn’t actually say she liked it, she only asked if it was new.
If we base our vocational decisions only on our own thoughts then our call will only serve ourselves.
However, if God, family, friends, mentors, the Church and the community are involved in the discernment process, then the living out of that call will fundamentally involve them.
Finally, discernment isn’t one size fits all.
It took me numerous attempts at discerning priesthood before I realised it wasn’t where I was called, whereas some of my mates knew they were called to marriage the moment they laid eyes on their wives.
The only way to know is to step into the store and try on the product.
Or perhaps more accurately, to step out of ourselves and to find where we truly fit.
Adam Burns is a vocations officer for Vocation Brisbane.
Have a vocation question? Contact the team at Vocation Brisbane on 1300 133 544 or at vocation@bne.catholic.net.au
