“PASSIONATE” is the way Carmelina Vitale would like to be known and remembered.
In fact, when dating her husband of 21 years, Sebastian Vitale, whom she met at an Italian youth group at 26 years of age, the unstoppable and vibrant woman of faith gave her future spouse a certain book.
The likeable father-of-two promptly presented it as we chatted in their well-appointed northern Brisbane home, with a certain ease of access.
“She gave me this book – Passionate People Produce – on our first date,” Sebastian said, asking, “Who does that?”
Carmelina, then De Angelis, does and did “purposely produce” anything she put her mind to and, in her five-decades-long life, the couple and family of four, including daughter Martina, in Year 10 at Mt Alvernia College, Kedron, and son Joseph, in Year 12 at Padua College, are an equally passionate unit.
The Vitales are particularly passionate in two ways – living each day with purpose and, within that ideal, living their faith in God purposely, so that the world will “know them by their fruits” (Matthew 7:16).
From the moment visitors and relatives enter the front door of their Albany Creek home, faith in God is evident – in well-appointed scriptures and holy images, and in the way they respectfully and passionately love the God of their lives, the God who formed and unites them.
“I think it was Bishop Joe Grech (who died in 2010) who said, ‘If you were arrested, would there be enough evidence to prove you are a Catholic?’” Carmelina said. “I like that, and think that it’s so important for us to be role models for our children and in the world.”
Right now, Carmelina is “dealing with cancer” and has been unable to walk since November, following operations that later revealed tumours in her spine.
“There are worse things out there.
“Yes, I am fighting the battle of rare cancer with no … cure. Some people die (from this cancer) in one year, some … go on to live for thirty years. I take every day and live it.”
Chordoma cancer is the type of “battle” Carmelina is charged with – her “cross” – which she speaks of with calm.
“People have asked me why I’m not angry,” she said. “I went through that but what’s the point?
“The way I see it is that there are two choices – you can be better or bitter. The difference is one little letter.
“Why would I waste any time I have by being bitter?
“This is a sad cross but I’m very blessed,” she said admirably.
“That’s not the person I am or the person I want to be.”
While unable to stand and walk since last November, Carmelina’s resolve allows an understanding that today (May 7), she will be as active as possible in the various organisational tasks that have always allowed unique and collective faith expression at the celebration of the Three Saints Mass in Wooloowin parish.
Today is an annual event commemorating the martyrdom of third-century Saints Filadelfo, Alfio and Cirino, a holy and festive gathering that Martina described as “a family highlight”, a joy amid the reality of day-to-day life.
“We live as normal a life as possible even though we are battling this as a family,” Carmelina said, soon enamoured by talk of her family’s four generations of faith-filled women, so often sharing their home in all the highpoints and challenges of life.
“The fact that we have four generations of women who believe in God is so nice and it doesn’t happen very often (in families).
“Faith has to stay alive, and we are the key.”
Martina described her mum as a role model who’s not only passionate but also driven by strength and courage.
“Mum isn’t like other mums,” the teenager said.
“She is in some aspects, as she loves her children and family, but not every other mum has had to go through what she has gone through … eight operations and radiation … She’s the glue that keeps our family together.”
Asked if she too was following in her mum’s courageous footsteps no matter life’s challenges, Martina was glowing in saying, “We’ve all realised how important family is, of looking on the bright side and being brave.”
The delightful young woman has recently taken part in the SBS TV “experimental” documentary – titled The Swap – where Catholic, Islamic and non-faith-based students visited each other’s schools.
Martina, who Carmelina described as “sensitive and compassionate”, was positive about the opportunity, all agreeing that it allowed greater understanding about differences in religion and outlook.
More than anything, The Swap meant she was convicted of the faith passed on from her parents especially.
Through our conversation in the Vitale-hub – the kitchen – came senior student and school leader, Joseph, as he joined in the family sentiment of faith-led love.
Within the reality of their mum and wife, as a paraplegic, a home that was designed 14 years ago for wheelchair access for the older and aging generations of the family, there was an overwhelming awareness of the work of the hand of God.
“My brother and I have always had the example of faith around us,” Martina said. “We went to a Catholic kindy, primary school and, now, high school.
“We go to church on Sundays and have photos of Jesus (around the house).
“Going to church, especially with Mum how she is, isn’t so much a chore but what I want to do.
“I want to pray, I want to be with the community.
“At school, I am normally the one reading the prayers and answering my friend’s questions about faith.”
Of the four female generations – herself, Carmelina, Nonna (grandmother) Rosa Martina and Bisnonna (great-grandmother) Giuseppina, 96 years – Martina said, “When a mum cares, it’s one thing but when a nonna cares, it’s another,” and they all laughed knowingly.
“All the women in our family are strong,” she said, “(And) they have a lot to give.”
The Vitales had recently celebrated Easter with Sebastian’s father who is on the cusp of turning 100.
He too will be at this year’s Three Saints celebration in Wooloowin, having been instrumental in the origins of the Three Saints Silkwood and Stanthorpe celebrations.
Continuing to beam when speaking of Martina, Carmelina said her daughter had a certain passion for life.
“From the first moment she was born, we knew Martina would be vivacious,” she said.
“She came into the world, screaming.”
And commenting on The Swap experience, Carmelina said she was inspired by the passion evident among the Islamic students.
“We noticed, as parents going into The Swap, that the kids at the Islamic College have passion, vocation and conviction for their religion,” she said.
“They are so proud of their religion. I wish, I wish our (Catholic and Christian) youth today would have that.
“I wish that was cemented more.”
Sebastian said the women in his home and on his side of the family too, were “passionate … they have a drive to get things done”.
“The mother leads the way, and the daughter follows,” he said.
As we mark this Marian month, and as we prepare to celebrate Mother’s Day, this comment was heaven-sent, as was the time shared with the Vitales.
“I can’t imagine life without faith in God,” Carmelina said, her husband adding that, “Faith gives an inner strength.”
“I understand why people are scared (when challenged by illness),” she said.
“Without faith, I would be scared.
“I like the scripture and Jesus saying, ‘Be not afraid’.
“Having faith gives you that courage.
“Death is for everybody. I like that it’s a change and not an end.
“Now, being a paraplegic, God’s carrying me.”
