By Peter Holmes
ONE of the key stories on which Australians base our national identity is that of the convict who was desperately poor, stole a loaf of bread and ended up slaving his life away in a new British colony on the other side of the world.
None of us condone stealing bread, but we feel compassion for the unjust situation that convict finds himself in.
Now if we were living in London at the time and happened to read a newspaper story from that time suggesting that the solution to the high rate of bread theft in London was to punish the offenders with a life of hard labour in hellish conditions, we might ask if there are better solutions available.
Centuries of hard experience have taught us that clothing, feeding and educating that man, and providing the opportunity to work for his bread, not only reduces bread theft, it clearly pays big dividends for society in the long run.
Scowling at a homeless and desperate poor man and telling him to get a job is hardly helpful. Neither is disproportionately increasing the legal penalties for his misplaced attempts to get by.
While considering some of the problems with family and relationships which are common in our Western society, it struck me that we may be facing a similar problem, and that some of our present solutions may be just as unhelpful and uncharitable as those used in London all those years ago.
If a man is hungry and he can see no legal means to fill his need, he will become desperate and likely commit a crime.
The Catholic Church teaches that it is not enough to merely provide some bread to help a poor man survive through the day.
The aim of charity is to help him find a dignified way out of his desperate predicament so that he can eat bread every day with dignity and joy.
So far so good, but there are more needs than hunger for bread.
Human beings need relationships.
Real, lasting and fulfilling friendships and especially marriages and families.
There are many studies that clearly show that our ability to form and keep healthy relationships are heavily influenced by the relationships into which we were born, and the way we were treated growing up.
If someone has grown up with a poor experience of relationships they will find it far more difficult to form healthy relationships of their own.
Being raised in a broken family, or with one parent absent has been proven to be a factor influencing relationships.
That is not to say that someone raised in a broken family is doomed to fail in relationships. There are many people who have forged great relationships and have admirable families.
The statistics tell us, however, that a history of broken families tends to make life much more difficult for some people.
What if a person has been raised in a love poor family?
What if, in spite of their family’s wealth, a child was starved of attention, love and affection by parents who were too busy, or who had a similarly impoverished upbringing themselves and don’t know how to change that?
What if a person were loved poorly and felt driven to desperate measures to obtain the attention and affirmation they keenly lack?
Any counsellor or pastor will tell you that a desperately low self-esteem can be behind a great deal of self-destructive behaviour.
How many men and women post carefully posed pictures on social media, involving clothes and/or poses that would not be fit for a public place, yet are on display for the entire internet?
How many young men and women commit crazy acts, sacrificing their own dignity and worth in a desperate bid for attention, acceptance and affection?
Yet perhaps the answer is not to condemn the selfies or punish the promiscuous behaviour. As in the case of the poor convict who stole the loaf of bread, we can see the desperation driving the behaviour.
Without condoning or encouraging such things, we can feel compassion for the circumstances that drive these people to such desperation.
If we are truly Christian, then we should not resort to scolding people for trying to find what they need in all the wrong places.
Rather, we should first seek to show them the right places to look for loving attention, genuine acceptance and love.
People make bad decisions because they think it is the best option available for them.
The way to help them make better decisions is to show them that there are better options.
That begins by giving them attention and treating them with genuine Christian affection and affirmation.
Only Christ can supply what they hunger for.
Peter Holmes is an Australian theologian.
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