DOMINICAN Father Dom Murphy spoke of the need for more “St Josephs” at the last Faith on Tap gathering in Brisbane.
The talk was entitled “Man up” and Fr Dom used the patron saint of fathers as “a key role model for a world that desperately needs good men”.
“There is a great aching heart of young men in our society,” Fr Dom said to more than 100 young people and religious on February 13.
“(And) as John Paul II said, ‘One of the greatest challenges facing the Western world is the crisis in fatherhood’.”
Fr Dom spoke of the impact of separation and divorce on young people, especially boys who grew up without the influence of positive male role models.
“Every mother and baby need the unconditional love of a good husband and father,” he said.
“(And) when that is lacking, for whatever reason, it is a deep loss that is felt in many ways.”
This “crisis in fatherhood” was real, he said, and not assisted by “the sexual revolution … the ease of divorce … (and) the plethora of pornography”.
“Pope John Paul II said the tragedy of pornography is not that it shows too much but that it shows too little of the person,” Fr Dom said.
He encouraged those gathered to seek “the true love we are called to” – for many that was “to know the love of a woman” – and for men especially to “put your strength at the service of your family”.
Fr Dom said Steve Biddulph’s book Raising Boys was helpful and quoted other methods.
“Raise your expectations but acknowledge that making mistakes is a very good way to learn lessons,” he said of raising boys and providing positive influences.
“Set boundaries and always be consistent … If you make a threat, make sure that you can carry it out.
“Communicate with them often, have dinner together and find out what is going on in their lives, show an interest, teach them the social skills to carry on a balanced conversation and encourage them to ask about the other person.
“Limit the time spent in front of the TV and computer games … (and) encourage them to share in the household chores.
“Encourage their friends to come over to your house – make it a happy, welcoming place for them.
“Spend lots of time together – make time to organise family outings, holidays or even simple activities such as playing a game once the homework is done.
“Give them your love – unconditionally – however they behave, you still love them. You might not like the behaviour but love the boy.”
