Skip to content
The Catholic Leader
  • Home
  • News
    • QLD
    • Australia
    • Regional
    • Education
    • World
    • Vatican
  • Features
  • Opinion
  • Life
    • Family
    • Relationships
    • Faith
  • Culture
  • People
  • Subscribe
  • Jobs
  • Contribute
No Result
View All Result
  • Home
  • News
    • QLD
    • Australia
    • Regional
    • Education
    • World
    • Vatican
  • Features
  • Opinion
  • Life
    • Family
    • Relationships
    • Faith
  • Culture
  • People
  • Subscribe
  • Jobs
  • Contribute
No Result
View All Result
The Catholic Leader
No Result
View All Result
Home Life Relationships

Ministry to married couples must change to save marriage, author urges

byCNS
11 November 2021
Reading Time: 6 mins read
AA

Time to act: Catholic parishes need to make some radical changes in the way they approach marriage ministry and teach the faithful about relationships.

Share on FacebookShare on Twitter

WITH marriage and church attendance on a steep decline overall in the United States and Australia, Catholic parishes need to make some radical changes in the way they approach marriage ministry and teach the faithful about relationships.

That’s the message of the new book, Endgame: The Church’s Strategic Move to Save Faith and Family in America, released in September and co-written by JP De Gance, a Catholic, and John Van Epp, a Protestant, who have both worked extensively in marriage and relationship education.

Mr De Gance, a Catholic father of eight, had a successful career in the political sphere before founding Communio, a non-profit that consults with churches to equip them with strategies and technologies to build up faith and the family.

While Endgame is written for both Catholics and Protestants, Mr De Gance hopes the book will motivate both clergy and laity to take a stark look at how the church has traditionally prepared Catholics for marriage and ministered to married couples – and why that needs to change.

“The average priest and church doctrine overall will tell you marriage is the foundation for society, but that doctrine is not translating into practical pastoral ministry,” Mr De Gance said.

“Eighty-two percent of Catholic parishes report spending zero dollars on marriage ministry.

Tragedy: A decline in marriage affects everything from the well-being of children to the economic well-being of a community, with recent statistics from Pew showing that single people and unmarried couples are among the most economically disadvantaged.

“We say marriage is the most important thing, but we are running a faith formation playbook from the 1950s that doesn’t reflect that.”

Recent US census data show marriage rates at an all-time low, with only 33 out of every 1000 unmarried adults getting married in 2019.

Mr De Gance said the drop off in Catholic sacramental marriages – from around 400,000 in 1970 to 137,000 in 2019 – offered a stark picture of where marriage stood in the church and why ministry needed to change.

A decline in marriage affects everything from the well-being of children to the economic well-being of a community, with recent statistics from Pew showing that single people and unmarried couples are among the most economically disadvantaged.

Related Stories

Holiness is possible and the Church provides tools to attain it, cardinal says

Hearts ‘fused’ together living their vocation

Elderly must set example of faith for young people, Pope says

In Endgame, the authors suggest that churches need to look at where they allocate ministry resources.

Most churches, for instance, have a youth ministry, but don’t offer much when it comes to teaching relationship skills to single people and married couples.

“The Catholic Church keeps looking at the falling away of youth as the problem that needs to be solved, but the only way to solve that problem is to strengthen marriage,” Mr De Gance said.

“The collapse of faith among youth is the smoke, but the fire is the collapse of marriage itself.”

One of the main problems is that churches overall, not just Catholics, only minister to engaged couples or to those in crisis – or all too often don’t offer any type of specialised marriage ministry at all.

He stressed the key to effective marriage ministry was to offer it for all couples at all stages of their relationships.

“The biggest obstacle to marriage ministry is a perception that it is only for those people who have problems,” Mr De Gance said.

“If you have a great car, you don’t wait until the smoke comes out of the engine to get it serviced.

“Similarly, if you have a great marriage, you should want to keep investing in the relationship and building the skills that make it great. That kind of approach is going to make a great marriage even better.”

Mr De Gance suggests that Catholic parishes should make marriage ministry a priority, even it means sometimes making a difficult decision to reallocate resources from other ministries.

Take action: “The Catholic Church keeps looking at the falling away of youth as the problem that needs to be solved, but the only way to solve that problem is to strengthen marriage.”

He also stresses the importance of programs that teach relationship skills to single people so they will be able to make better dating decisions and discern whether or not a romantic partner is future marriage material.

The book offers an account of what well-planned marriage ministry can do not only for churches but for a community as a whole.

Between 2015 and 2018, Mr De Gance worked with the Philanthropy Roundtable to launch a church-based marriage program in Duval County, Florida, which includes the city of Jacksonville, to teach marriage and relationship skills to struggling couples.

Through targeted marketing, the program reached out to both church members and the non-churched.

Over three years, the divorce rate in Jacksonville dropped 24 per cent and church attendance in the area increased.

Endgame echoes concerns about dating and relationship ministries in an article prepared back by the US Conference of Catholic Bishops’ Committee on Laity, Marriage, Family Life and Youth.

In it, the committee describes the importance of educating both young people and couples at every stage of relationships.

The committee stressed the importance of educating youth and young adults about “responsible dating” – how to both form healthy relationships and also discern whether someone they are dating is future marriage material.

It also suggests that parishes must offer ministries not only to engaged couples but also to support newlyweds in the early stages of their marriage.

Marriage education
Call for help: Ministry to struggling couples is especially important at a time when many parishes also are struggling to get people back into the pews after the pandemic forced many churches to close in 2020.

Ministry to struggling couples is especially important at a time when many parishes also are struggling to get people back into the pews after the pandemic forced many churches to close in 2020.

Mr De Gance cited surveys which show that attendance at Mass was still off by as much as 40 per cent in some parishes nationwide.

In Endgame, the authors offer examples of many studies that show that strong families and church attendance go hand in hand.

“A parish needs to add value through its ministry to the hurting,” he said.

“Pope Francis talks about the parish being a hospital for hurting people, and at a time when there is so much nihilism and illness in relationships, it’s important to help people to form meaningful, Godly relationships and marriages.”

ShareTweet
Previous Post

Pope to canonise Blessed Charles De Foucauld and six others on May 15

Next Post

Toowoomba’s Nathan Webb looking forward to a life of ministry as a priest

CNS

Related Posts

Holiness is possible and the Church provides tools to attain it, cardinal says
Faith

Holiness is possible and the Church provides tools to attain it, cardinal says

18 May 2022
Hearts ‘fused’ together living their vocation
People

Hearts ‘fused’ together living their vocation

15 May 2022
Pope Francis greets elderly woman
Vatican

Elderly must set example of faith for young people, Pope says

5 May 2022
Next Post
Toowoomba’s Nathan Webb looking forward to a life of ministry as a priest

Toowoomba's Nathan Webb looking forward to a life of ministry as a priest

Fr Tim Norton named new Auxiliary Bishop of Brisbane

Fr Tim Norton named new Auxiliary Bishop of Brisbane

Out of pain comes hope, Pope Francis says on World Day of the Poor

Out of pain comes hope, Pope Francis says on World Day of the Poor

Popular News

  • Angel’s Kitchen serves hot meals to the hungry in Southport

    Angel’s Kitchen serves hot meals to the hungry in Southport

    0 shares
    Share 0 Tweet 0
  • Here are the stories of 10 new saints being canonised this Sunday

    0 shares
    Share 0 Tweet 0
  • Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI turned 95 on a ‘very happy’ day

    0 shares
    Share 0 Tweet 0
  • Hearts ‘fused’ together living their vocation

    0 shares
    Share 0 Tweet 0
  • Holiness is possible and the Church provides tools to attain it, cardinal says

    0 shares
    Share 0 Tweet 0
Search our job finder
No Result
View All Result

Latest News

Br Alan Moss remembered for a life of faith and learning
QLD

Br Alan Moss remembered for a life of faith and learning

by Staff writers
19 May 2022
0

CHRISTIAN Brother Alan Moss was remembered by his friends, family and fellow brothers for his gifted mind,...

Catholic relationship advisers offer five tips to look after your mental health

Nationwide rosary event happening for Australia’s patroness this Saturday

19 May 2022
Francis offers advice on politics: Seek unity, don’t get lost in conflict

Francis offers advice on politics: Seek unity, don’t get lost in conflict

19 May 2022
Holiness is possible and the Church provides tools to attain it, cardinal says

Holiness is possible and the Church provides tools to attain it, cardinal says

18 May 2022
Church workers have helped more than 1.2 million Ukrainians during the war, Caritas says

Church workers have helped more than 1.2 million Ukrainians during the war, Caritas says

18 May 2022

Never miss a story. Sign up to the Weekly Round-Up
eNewsletter now to receive headlines directly in your email.

Sign up to eNews
  • About
  • Advertise
  • Contact
  • Contribute
  • Jobs
  • Subscribe

The Catholic Leader is an Australian award-winning Catholic newspaper that has been published by the Archdiocese of Brisbane since 1929. Our journalism seeks to provide a full, accurate and balanced Catholic perspective of local, national and international news while upholding the dignity of the human person.

Copyright © All Rights Reserved The Catholic Leader
Accessibility Information | Privacy Policy | Archdiocese of Brisbane

The Catholic Leader acknowledges Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people as the First Peoples of this country and especially acknowledge the traditional owners on whose lands we live and work throughout the Catholic Archdiocese of Brisbane.

No Result
View All Result
  • Home
  • News
    • QLD
    • Australia
    • Regional
    • Education
    • World
    • Vatican
  • Features
  • Opinion
  • Life
    • Family
    • Relationships
    • Faith
  • Culture
  • People
  • Subscribe
  • Jobs
  • Contribute

Copyright © All Rights Reserved The Catholic Leader

0
    0
    Your Cart
    Your cart is emptyChoose another Subscription
    Continue Shopping