By Carrie McCormack
WE were about to have a simple meal of snags and veggies when our nine-year-old daughter spontaneously volunteered to set the table.
This type of enthusiasm surprised me as we had over-tired kids that week.
It was the first week back at school, there had been some sickness and we had been cutting corners.
Once we were seated our four-year-old proclaimed to us all, “Hey. Everyone, we’re all here, see, there are six of us”.
Next our six-year-old pointed out how many boys and girls were present and discussed the seating arrangements and finally the one-year-old stood up and pointed fervently at each of us and tried to say our names.
We all ended up laughing.
Such moments are priceless, joyful and free.
I recognise that life consists of many meals and plenty of work.
There is wave upon wave of daily repetition and at times it can seem dull and dreary.
Despite this, there are plenty of times when Luke and I look at each other and share in glorious recognition that our kids are becoming who they are.
We are coming to the conclusion that kids have a strong in-built desire to simply grow and as parents we facilitate this process age to age, from season to season.
There is a catch phrase among families that “parents are the first educators”.
It is a largely unexplored topic.
We have a common cultural practice these days to unconsciously outsource a lot of this task to schools and professional early educators.
However, Pope John Paul II reminds us in Familiaris Consortio – On the Role of the Christian Family in the Modern World (1981) “it is from the family that citizens come to birth and it is within the family that they find the first school of the social virtues that are the animating principle of the existence and development of society itself”.
What does first school mean?
Does it include the first cuddle?
Is it about how to hold someone and being held?
Is it about the first feed?
Is it about teaching a person how to say they’re hungry and achieve satisfaction?
Is it about the first steps, first words?
The list of possibilities goes on and seems to grow with time.
There is in incredible amount of development that happens from conception to age five.
It is simply inconceivable.
Studies clearly show that these years become the foundation upon which the grown adult will depend.
What a responsibility.
As my children grow I see them draw different and essential lessons from a simple family meal.
This is where they make vital and organic connections.
At home each meal around the table conveys meaning and it creates connections with our personal and lived experiences.
In the Bible, meals were central to many important events with various meanings.
As a catechist, when I teach young children about Holy Communion, I start with the Passover in Egypt.
From there I begin to understand the significance of Christ’s Last Supper and the celebration of Mass.
Yet the entire teaching is lost without the natural foundation of the family meal.
So, having an experience of baking the food, preparing a table, communing around the table, connecting and sharing food and putting everything back afterward is one continuous symphony that is going to assist the child to make connections and understand the mysteries of the Eucharist and the Body of Christ.
We are all receiving a formation at mealtime.
We are all becoming ready for the next revelation.
The truth is, we are made to feast with each other and one day with our heavenly Father.
This table in our homes, the space we prepare to share a meal, is essential practice for the heavenly banquet.
By being present and providing for such moments, parents truly are “first educators”.
Therefore, whoever is in the presence of a child – parents, siblings, teachers, carers or grandparents – should understand it is an honour.
This is because they are in the presence of someone who is receiving their first education.
According to St John Paul II, the child is growing social virtues, which are foundational to how society will be shaped in the future.
A beautifully prepared table, seeing familiar faces and knowing names, being all together like a party, having a seat of honour, this happens every time we eat with children.
We can learn from this, for it is to such as these that the Kingdom of God belongs.
Carrie McCormack is the founder of Mother Effect, a ministry that promotes parents as the first educators, and understanding the potential of the child.
