AN old school mate of mine from Ingham came to stay with Giselle and myself in Brisbane about six weeks ago.
We talked about old times at school and how turning 40 had not changed us one bit.
We joked about our youth and our energy to still achieve much in life.
But it was the one glaring fact that had us all laughing together.
He had just recently visited his 19-year-old daughter in Townsville. Giselle and I were introducing him to our six-week-old daughter, Lucienne Sylvia Cosentino, born on May 29, 2007.
In essence, there was an entire adolescent life time difference between our two daughters and 19 years difference between us in parenting experience.
I was soon asking all the questions I could about how a father manages his daughter in her development and growth to adulthood.
His advice was matter-of-factly given: “Mate, you don’t manage it; you just go along with it. You’ll learn quickly enough”.
I will pay heed to that advice though I am very fortunate that I can call upon the wisdom and experience of a number of my male colleagues at my workplace, who have teenage and adolescent daughters, and will surely be a source of guidance for me.
As a “Generation X” baby, I had to wait 13 years before I saw a colour TV in my home, 14 years before I played the first decent computer game – “space invaders” – 15 years before I first used a calculator at school, 16 years before I used the first school computer, 21 years before I used the first fax machine and 31 years before I first “surfed” the Internet.
The realisation that my daughter would have access to all this technology and more at the very first stage of her understanding in life, made me realise what challenges awaited me as Lucienne developed in her years.
Change, and keeping abreast of it, it seems, is the challenge of all parents nowadays when it comes to formation of their children.
One thing that doesn’t seem to change, however, in any child/parent relationship, are the dreams and hopes that a parent has for their child, and the love of God and humanity that one tries to instil in them.
Giselle and I are no different when it comes to this.
I have often joked with Giselle that I would not be unhappy to hear from Lucienne when she has reached her adult years that she would like to become a human rights lawyer; that she would one day like to settle down in Cambodia among our friends there and that she would love to embrace everything that is good in life.
I know, however, that she might very well end up being a plumber and wanting to settle down on some remote cattle station in west Queensland.
What I hope to instil in Lucienne, however, is that life is filled with beauty, no matter what the circumstance and that all people are worth loving no matter what their background.
I would hope that she embraces a faith in God to help her through life, just as my parents taught me, and my parents’ parents taught them.
I hope to meet up again with my old school mate in 19 years’ time, to talk about old times, and to reflect on the years that Lucienne has grown to become an adult.
By Clyde Cosentino, director of Brisbane archdiocese’s Centre for Multicultural Pastoral Care
It may be a bit of a cliche, but becoming a father is by far one of the greatest moments of my life.
It was not so much the moment of his birth (as incredible as that experience was) but the ongoing discovery of who this new person is whom I helped bring into being.
Isaac Luke was born a couple of days after Easter in April, 2006. He was due on our first wedding anniversary, which in itself made it a special time for us (although my wife Emma and I were pleased that he was a few days late so that we could keep that as a special date for us).
While in many ways it was a difficult pregnancy and birth, with Emma having morning (all day) sickness for about eight months, sciatica, gestational diabetes and then an emergency caesarean (and my need to care for her through all that time), it all pales in comparison for both of us to the simple joy of holding our son, watching him grow and being a part of his young life.
In all our experiences, I have learnt in a deeper way what it means to care for, protect and provide for my family.
I will always remember the first time I saw Isaac in the flesh, rather than just feeling his kick on Emma’s tummy.
The reality of this new person in the world, and my new role of fatherhood, continues to impact my life whenever I reflect or pray about it.
Since that first day he has been such a precious and integral part of my life, and as he grows so too does our interaction together and therefore my relationship with him and with Emma.
I was excited when one of his first sounds was “dada” – which of course I claimed as his first word – but it is so much more special when he says it now and identifies the word with me.
There is something about Isaac knowing that I am a special person in his life that gives such meaning.
My favourite moment each day is when I get home from work and Isaac hears me come in the door. He crawls excitedly to the top of the stairs where he can see me, with a huge smile on his face and waits for me to come pick him up.
One of the things I love to do as a father is to teach Isaac new things, whether it’s pointing out cars and trees when we go for a walk or introducing him to animals at the zoo.
I remember taking him to the beach recently, where he was thrilled just to sit in the sand with me, with the waves flowing over his body.
Now that he’s a little bigger and learning to walk, our play times are much more active and boisterous.
My favourite times with him are usually “wrestling” with him on the floor and allowing him to climb all over me.
And then there’s the times when he just sits quietly in my lap as I read him a story, or when I just hold him and pray for him as part of our nightly routine before going to bed.
For me, Father’s Day is an opportunity to celebrate all these special moments of family.
In my younger years, the day was of course always about honouring my own dad.
While that first meaning has not diminished in any way, celebrating Father’s Day is such a greater experience now that I’m a father myself.
Although this is not my first Father’s Day, it remains a special one for I celebrate being a father twice – both of Isaac and our second child who is due in March next year.
I am looking forward to discovering anew this second gift from God while also continuing to discover more about who Isaac is, my relationship with Emma and the deeper love of family.
By Luke Plant, youth ministry co-ordinator at Brisbane’s Emmanuel Community
