SURVIVING the first five years of marriage could be less frustrating if couples have access to 400 years of wisdom.
Brisbane-based Ministry to the Newly Married is helping couples connect with mentors to ensure divorce or separation, which often occurs in the first five years of marriage, is not an option.
Beginning four years ago with a small group of newly married couples and mentoring couples, the ministry now has more than 20 couples meeting regularly to discuss tough topics and strengthen marriages.
Over five years, newly married couples will discuss 20 different topics chosen as a result of research into what 3000 couples wanted to know in the first five years of marriage.
Newly married couples will meet with new mentoring couples each year over five years.
Brisbane-based Ministry to the Newly Married co-ordinators said mentoring was a necessary tool for couples that had only begun to walk the marriage journey.
In their first year of marriage, Michael and Angela Duff quickly recognised the early years of married life could be “a tumultuous time”.
“Even though we are considered to be in our ‘honeymoon’ phase of marriage, the first five years are the most challenging of any marriage,” Mrs Duff said.
They saw MNM’s program as an opportunity “build a strong foundation of marriage in the years ahead”.
“Michael and I have considered the ministry as a vital and proactive tool to enriching our marriage,” she said.
“We now in our fourth year of marriage, with two children, Mary and Patrick, and we are also in our fourth year of the Newly Married Ministry.
“We feel incredibly blessed that we have had the wisdom of our mentoring couples in a range of topics including financial plans, fighting and anger, forgiveness and healing, and enthusiasm in our marriage.”
Fanny and Thuy Ngo are in their first year of marriage, and have already seen the benefits of pairing with a mentor.
During marriage preparation with Centacare, the couple found a brochure on MNM and were drawn to its “simple” mentoring program.
“We are currently paired with an extraordinary couple who have been married for more than 20 years – and yet still enjoy each other’s company,” the couple said.
“It has been challenging to say the least, challenging a new way to think about ideas, challenging on how to react and handle arguments, and challenging on how to communicate with your spouse.”
The couple have talked at length about family backgrounds and communications skills.
“While these topics are often mentioned in the many books on marriage, putting faces and real life experience behind them, makes them more real and relevant to the modern day marriage,” they said.
“And the conversations are not always deep and counselling orientated, it’s also about catching up and sharing a meal and conversation with friends.”
Mentors Mike and Clare Carter have also found the ministry “invaluable” for bringing “the spotlight back on ourselves”.
“The topics discussed have given us plenty of food for thought and led to discussion as to how we can improve our own communication and relationship depth,” the couple said.
“We have reprioritised making time for one another in the busyness of life with teenagers and a baby.
“Their value as mentors is in their ability to empathise with newly married couples and to demonstrate effective communication techniques to empower them to more successfully navigate issues as they arise.”
Couples interested in mentoring are invited to an information night at Francis Rush Centre, St Stephen’s Cathedral Precinct, 249 Elizabeth St, Brisbane at 7.30pm.
For more information please contact Ann O’Donovan on 0427 806 384 or visit their website www.mnmbrisbane.com.
