IT is a truth acknowledged by the universal Church, that a single Catholic man living in a Catholic men’s house-hold is more likely to find a good Catholic wife.
That’s the reality for a number of men in the Brisbane archdiocese, who found that living in a Catholic household had a positive influence in discerning a vocation to marriage.
These men, rather than live with their girlfriends, are choosing to live in households that encourage prayer, practical support and accountability.
Real Talk Australia managing director Paul Ninnes, who is married with two children, lived in a share house that resulted in six marriages within three years.
He said the household gave him the spiritual and practical support he needed while he was discerning his vocation to marriage.
“It certainly helped me to be intentional in the way I discerned marriage,” he said.
Daniel Saban, who was the last man to get married from the same household, said the support of other Catholic men was “invaluable” while he was dating the woman who is now his wife.
“I found that the support I received through prayer and conversation incredibly valuable on my journey towards marriage,” he said.
“The myth is that as men, we have to hide our struggles and go it alone.
“To be able to honestly share my hopes and disappointments with my flatmates was a true gift.”
The experience of such households support recent studies that show divorce rates are about 50 per cent higher for couples who live together before marriage.
SmartLoving, a work of Sydney’s Marriage Resource Centre, recently released a series explaining how cohabitation leads to such an increased level of divorce.
According to the stories, serial cohabiters, couples who have a strong commitment to a relationship but never make it to marriage, have lower standards about the quality of character they want in a husband or wife.
One story in the series uses the term “commitment creep” to describe couples who live together before marriage, but can’t “cut loose” because of the emotional and financial investments of cohabitating.
Cohabitation can also lead to delayed marriage, since couples have already established a lifestyle that emulates a married one and may find it unnecessary to progress the relationship further.
SmartLoving co-founder Francine Pirola said cohabitation was a disordering of the human heart’s natural desire to be with one person for life.
“The human heart isn’t made to be broken over and over again,” she said.
“It was always meant to find one love, and is naturally oriented towards monogamy.
“That’s why marriage has arisen spontaneously in many cultures even before religion or the law.”
Dating couples who are seeking to get married can contact SmartLoving to book a course for marriage preparations.
To read the SmartLoving “Cohabitation” series, visit smartloving.org
