NEW research from the Australian Institute of Family Studies reported almost 30 per cent of 18-19 year olds have experienced intimate partner violence in the last year.
In the 12 months before being surveyed, 25 per cent of 18-19 year olds experienced emotional abuse, 12 per cent experienced physical violence, and 8 per cent experienced sexual abuse in their intimate relationships.
The research also revealed that teens having healthy relationships with parents and friends at 16-17 years played a critical role in reducing the likelihood of being a victim of intimate partner violence at 18-19 years.
Specifically, high trust and good communication with parents during adolescence reduced emotional abuse victimisation by 39 per cent and sexual abuse victimisation by 77 per cent.
If a teen had strong, supportive friendships throughout adolescence, the likelihood of being a victim of intimate partner violence was reduced by 36 per cent.
Brisbane Catholic relationship adviser Nahum Kozak said research repeatedly pointed to the protective effects of healthy, respectful relationships between parents and children.
He said it was important for parents and carers to model these behaviours to the children in their own relationships and then also to have respectful, trusting relationships with the kids directly.
“One key tip, if seeking to build trust with a child or teen, is to let them lead in conversations and activities; and to be responsive to their bids for connection,” he said.
He said it was important to stay alert for these chances to connect because they were not always obvious.
“For example, a teen coming and sitting at the table with you but not saying anything might be a prelude to them speaking up,” he said.
“Try not to fill in the silence too quickly or too often with your own agenda – ‘do you have any dirty clothes for me to wash?’, ‘Have you finished that assignment?’
“Instead, allow time for your teen to start the conversation and set the agenda.
“Allow time for them to get to the point just providing nods, smiles, and minimal supportive sounds.
“Let them speak before responding, and respond gently when you do.
“Maybe ask an open-ended question to keep them going, as these types of questions help open the heart.”
He said a general guide was to let the child or teen lead in this way about 70 per cent of the time.
“When they do share something even the smallest bit vulnerable, respond with warmth, empathy and understanding,” he said.
“This gives them permission and safety to know they can trust you with more if ever they need to.”
The research was based on data from Growing Up in Australia: The Longitudinal Study of Australian Children, which has been tracking 10,000 children since 2004.
Emotional abuse is characterised by a pattern of actions or behaviours that are intended to manipulate, control, isolate or intimidate another person.
Physical violence includes the use of physical force with the intent to cause injury or harm, while sexual violence involves sexual acts that are committed or attempted without the explicit informed consent of the other person and/or despite their refusal.
To learn more about developing healthy relationships, please visit: https://www.lighthouserelationships.com.au
