By Agencies including CNS, Vatican News and staff writers
DANNY and Leila Abdallah used a speech during the World Meeting of Families in the Vatican to encourage forgiveness, and to celebrate what would have been their son Antony’s 16th birthday.
The Maronite Christian couple – parents of seven children – received a standing ovation after sharing their personal story with fellow Catholics at the meeting – encouraging them to “hold on to Christ, embrace suffering and offer it up to the cross,” even when life is difficult.
The couple with children Liana, 12, Alex, 7, Michael, 6 and Selina, three-months, explained that forgiving the drunk and drug-affected driver who killed their children allowed them to survive.
Tragedy for the Abdullah family unfolded on February 1, 2020 when the driver killed their daughters Sienna and Angelina, son Anthony, and their niece Veronique Sakr.
“It was a perfect summer’s day when seven precious, adorable children walked to get some ice cream for my niece’s birthday,” Mr Abdallah said.
“What should have been an enjoyable outing for the young kids turned into one of the worst road tragedies Australia has ever seen.”
Mr Abdallah told the Vatican of the “war zone” he discovered when his children were killed.
“From far away I saw the police cover Antony, Selina, Angelina and Veronique with white sheets.”
The Abdallahs were invited by the Pope to speak at the convention about their faith and forgiveness.
During the speech, Leila Abdallah told of her choice to forgive the driver who caused her and her family so much pain.
When asked by the media about her feelings, she said, “I don’t hate him; I think in my heart I forgive him, but I want the court to be fair.”
Mrs Abdallah noted that she did not know the impact of these words yet she believed that “the Holy Spirit moved my lips to speak words of forgiveness.”
Husband Daniel, for his part, said he realised that whatever reaction he would have could determine where he and his family “would be” for the rest of their lives.
“I chose to forgive myself for telling my kids to go for a walk,” Mr Abdallah said.
“I chose to forgive the offender in obedience to my Father in heaven. If my children were here today, they would say, ‘Dad, forgive him.’
“Forgiveness is more for the forgiver than the forgiven. When you forgive the other person, you start to heal.”
The couple from western Sydney spoke to Vatican News in an interview on the sidelines of the WMOF, sharing their testimony of love in spite of the loss of three of their children.
Mr Abdallah insisted that the depth of forgiveness they have as a couple has also taught them so much about each other and about the way they look at each other.
He added that in spite of the occasional arguments, they have learned how to come back to a place of forgiveness because “there are sometimes things that are not worth holding on to.”
His wife Leila, noted that some couples get divorced because they do not know how to forgive each other.
“It is important to let go of your anger,” she said.
“Forgive unconditionally. Love unconditionally in order for you to have empathy and compassion in your marriage.”
The couple’s presentation at the WMOF also touched on their faith which they had to draw upon as they tried to heal and forgive.
When asked about how they developed this faith, Leila recounted that she grew up in her faith from her childhood: attending Mass, going to confession and praying the rosary.
She continued with these practices even after her marriage and she has passed them on to her children, teaching them to practice forgiveness as well.
Her husband’s faith came a bit later, after marriage and having children. He notes that he drew a lot of inspiration from the “Our Father”, particularly when we say “forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.”
Daniel and Leila have invited other people struggling with grief and loss, not to give up hope and to offer their sufferings to Christ on the cross, “because we will all experience the suffering Jesus as well as the glory of Jesus.”
“My message would be everyone has a cross to carry,” Mrs Abdallah said.
“We can’t choose what will happen to us in life, but we can choose how to respond.
“Respond with a smile! Offer it up to Jesus! Trust in God’s will.”
The couple has found a way to transform its pain into helping others by setting up the “i4give.com” foundation which gives people tools to learn how to forgive and the benefits of forgiveness.
“Our world is yearning for forgiveness,” Mr Abdallah said.
“And when we talk about it, people are just so hungry and so thirsty to understand what tools do I need to be equipped with about forgiveness.”
