Family Faith by Selina Venier
IT’S helpful to go from A to Z and learn something, yes?
Now we’ve arrived at the glorious ‘Z’ of Easter Sunday it’s healthy to look back to the humble beginning of the ‘A’ of Ash Wednesday as much as to look forward.
I look back at Lent and wonder what I learnt.
Most of all I look back and hope I’ve changed permanently for the better.
A little like the same New Year’s resolutions reappearing each year, I’d prefer to strive for greater holiness next Lent than repeat the same commitments beyond the normal mix of prayer, fasting and almsgiving.
Among other ideals this past Lent I resolved to cultivate patience.
Before cultivating patience it must be sown.
Constant watering was the second step.
Once greater patience was ripe, a commitment to its ongoing harvest and replantation remained and what I mean by “permanent change for the better”.
The Lord God taught me interesting lessons amid all this plantation, watering and harvest.
I hoped and prayed greater patience would spill over into my mothering more than anything but God went beyond that.
He revealed the value of patient waiting when reacting to any of a thousand situations.
When the line at the post office stretched out the door, smile, pray, breathe, wait, He said.
There was then time for a fruitful conversation about the meaning of Easter with a complete stranger.
When household renovations weren’t quite as easy as predicted, smile, pray, breathe, wait, He said.
There was time to laugh at too many things going amiss and take a well-earned break, eventually.
When an abrupt text message appeared, smile, pray, breathe, wait, He said.
There was time to consider an appropriate and not immediate response.
Waiting to react abrasively to any number of situations, even if it might be the most common human response, is a particularly helpful learning at any time of year and something I’ve taken to heart this past Lent.
Too often in this fast-paced environment do we, myself included, believe an immediate response is a necessary one.
Social media feeds this frenzy.
Sometimes such a medium is helpful, especially in crisis, and at other times it isn’t.
Especially when disagreements arise and tensions flare, it’s quite a discipline to wait for the right time to respond.
It’s quite a discipline to wait and choose words and actions carefully.
I admit to being one of those people who can react too quickly; I need to reply to text and voice messages, emails and letters sooner than is humanly possible and if there’s an issue bubbling to the surface, I’m quick to intervene.
But not any more.
This Lent has taught me to wait and keep sowing seeds of patience and better judgement.
I love how Jesus encourages us, in the Gospel of St Matthew, to make the time to seek out your “brother”, face the issue and state your case.
He even says to confront the issue head on “while the two of you are alone” (18:8).
Today I put this advice into action and feel I came out the better for it.
My reaction to an escalating disagreement was calm.
When the other party’s tone escalated regardless, my calm, by some miracle, remained.
When the other party was offended I didn’t retaliate, there was even a sense of “turning the other cheek”.
God was there saying smile, pray, breathe, wait.
After all of the above and some time had passed I did go to my “brother” and state my case at having being treated unfairly.
There was real satisfaction in that response.
As imperfect as I am, it felt Godly, it felt good.
What I learnt about cultivating the disciplines of waiting, greater patience and heightened right judgement is it feeds forgiveness.
Think about it, when your initial reaction to disharmony is a Godly one, taking the next step to forgiveness isn’t as far a stretch as it may have been previously.
How good is it to forgive?
I’ll type that again, how good is it to forgive?
It’s so freeing, isn’t it?
And to be forgiven, what a freedom, what a joy, what a relief.
Personally, the next best thing to being forgiven is to witness my children experiencing God’s forgiveness in the Sacrament of Penance.
To see them participate in the Second Rite of Reconciliation before Easter and witness their freedom, joy and relief is always as though I’m experiencing it for myself all over again.
It’s always absolutely priceless, absolutely divine.
A very divine Easter to you and yours and may the seeds you sowed from A to Z bring a plentiful and ongoing harvest.
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