This is an edited version of a homily army chaplain Deacon Gary Stone delivered at the funeral of Private Grant Kirby at St Peter Chanel Catholic Church, at The Gap, Brisbane, on September 3
COMING to terms with the death of a loved one or a mate is a great challenge to us all. Each of us here would have our own particular emotions today.
With Grant’s death coming as it did so unexpectedly, there may have been things unsaid or things yet to be done in your relationship with Grant, or even with each other. Now is the time that you can address that.
No words of mine can or should remove the sense of sorrow or separation you might be feeling, but I would like to offer a reflection based on our scriptures which I hope will help you to deal with this situation. Indeed my theme for this homily is Hope.
One of our fundamental Christian beliefs is that nothing can separate us from the love of God. Nothing can separate us from the power of love – nothing in life, and not even death.
We have been gifted with each other. Indeed our love for each other can be strengthened at this time. Light can still shine in the darkness. Look around and see how many people Grant has brought together here today. We are companions on a journey, and we will all have grown a little closer to each other through Grant’s life and death.
There are many things I would liked to have talked about today, but since I know that many of you are Catholics, I know I have to keep myself to about 10 minutes before you start to get restless.
I’d have liked to have said a little more about my involvement with Grant and his mates as they were preparing for this mission. In my role as army chaplain I’d been invited by their Commanding Officer Jason Blain to talk to them about life and death, and soldiering on in adversity.
Grant and his mates were conscious that some might be killed in action on this tour. Grant had even talked to me about it.
I had already come to know Grant well through his attendance on a Junior Leaders Course in Enoggera last year. I’d provided presentations on living out the Army values of courage, initiative and teamwork, how we interact with other cultures and how we face the stressors of the battlefield.
I use real-life stories, movie clips and my own personal experiences over 40 years of soldiering to cause them to think about the serious issues of our profession.
Grant went on to be the top student of the course of more than 90. I talked to all the students in similar terms to what I am saying to you today – how I have experienced how anything you do can be strengthened by faith.
I’d like to have said more to you today about Grant’s and Edwina’s life in the parish over the past 12 years.
They have been wonderful parents to Bella and Maddy and participated in many parish and school activities. Even after Grant moved out and joined the Army they still all got together for dinners, birthday parties, walks in the park, trips to Seaworld and the beach, going to the movies. I’m sure the kids have lots of happy memories there.
I’d like to share lots of things but I will home in on just one – hope.
In today’s scriptures St Paul tells us “do not grieve like people who have no hope”. Comfort one another like people of hope.
Even though you may be feeling sad and emotional today, just try to imagine how Grant would want you to be. I’m sure he wants this farewell to be a peaceful event where we acknowledge his contribution to our lives. I’m sure he would want us all to grow closer together, to forgive each other, to be reconciled, to be freed of any of the burdens we’ve carried in relationships.
Thirty-four years ago Jo Anne and Gary presented him to be baptised. Later Gary and Di saw that he received a Christian education (and) encouraged him to be Confirmed. He had solid family and faith foundations.
I reaffirmed to Grant and his mates of our Christian belief that at the point of death, our soul leaves our body and goes home to the God who created us.
Grant and Edwina have baptised their children Isabella and Madeleine in that same belief in eternal life. I hope all of you can believe that too. That wonderful promise of eternal life is available to all those who believe in God.
Today we have before us the remains of the body that Grant lived in, but the soul and spirit of Grant lives on. He awaits us to join him when one day we will walk through death’s dark vale.
Today some of us might be challenged to reflect upon our lives, and we might be challenged to make our peace with God. It’s a healthy thing to ask God for forgiveness and to put our life in his hands. I would like you all to have hope and peace and courage that flows from faith.
Imagine the freedom, the liberation that can come from not being scared of death. If you haven’t been involved with a faith community or Church recently, I invite you to try it out.
But faith is not just about us. God calls us to love our neighbour. Like Grant, we can also be on a mission to make the world a better place.
We can do amazing things with the power of God behind us. By way of example I might add that over the past 10 years this parish has raised more than $850,000 for the people in the poorest areas of East Timor and saved many children’s lives through health and education programs we run there.
There are parishioners here who have had more trips to Timor than most soldiers have. Loving God and loving our neighbour is a mission for all Christian people. Again I invite you to join us. We are making a positive difference.
In conclusion, I’d simply want us to thank God for the gift of Grant’s life, and honour his friendship and his service as a peacemaker.
Grant you have run the race well. You have shown the greatest love that a person can show by being prepared to give your life in the service of peace. We salute you. We look forward to meeting you again in heaven.
As a little postscript I tried to imagine what Grant might have wanted to say to Bella and Maddy today. I think it might have been some thing like this:
“My beautiful children – I love you so very much. Don’t be upset that this has happened. I have passed through death to the peace of heaven.
“But I am never more than a prayer away from you. Speak to me like you always have. Play, smile and be happy. Love, forgive and help others.
“We have coped with separations before and you will cope now.
“My work on earth is complete. Yours is just starting. And I will be watching over you every day. When your work is completed, I will be at the doorway of heaven to welcome you home too. I will always be loving you, right now and forever.”
