Speaking at a Year of Grace evening in Brisbane earlier this year, CHRISTIAN BROTHER DAMIEN PRICE reflected on the small “g” moments of grace. This is an edited version of his talk
FEW could argue that in so many ways our planet and our Church are in times of crises.
Everywhere I look I see a breakdown in community; in relationship.
Today we are witnesses to a growing gap between rich and poor, growing numbers of global conflicts, more and more polarised politics and political debate, the breakdown in eco-systems, the destruction of species, higher rates of suicide and substance abuse and so much more that speaks of death and a hopelessness.
In the midst of all of this we are called to “live and move and have our being!”
In the midst of all of this we are called to live life and live it to the full.
In the midst of all of this we are charged to be instruments that bring about the reign of God – the reign of love within our world.
In the midst of this we are called to proclaim the innate dignity of every person and the interconnectedness and interdependence of all of life around us.
As a religious brother within the Church I am more and more convinced that part of our difficulty and within that – also part of our way forward – is the dualism that binds our world.
Dualism is an embrace of one point of view, one stance, one approach that blocks out any possibility of truth or wisdom or insight in the “other”. Dualism thrives on “in-out”, “us-them”, “winner-loser”.
Dualism “depowers” truth through labels – queue-jumper, gay, tree hugger, liberal, radical, conservative – the list is endless.
Behind every one of those labels are people; people with a story.
When you truly and deeply meet the person and their story the labels fall away and a face of love, a face of God that you so often never expected is revealed.
To do this, this Year of Grace invites us to see the small “g” times; the small Grace and God times.
So often in our dualism we have divorced God from life.
We look for an “out there God” or an “up there God” and thus cannot see the God presence under our nose – directly in front of us.
We won’t find a big God “up there” if we can’t find the God of the everyday moment in the people and events around us. God comes to us in the people and events of our lives.
The challenge is whether we have the awareness, beyond ego, to recognise these small “g” moments and grow with them and from them.
Grace is that small inner energy, that whisper, that tickles, the voice that won’t go away.
Sure, there are extraordinary moments of grace but so often the seeing of them, the recognition that they actually exist, the openness to them and the ability to allow them – are the result of hundreds of smaller moments of “yes”.
These “yes” moments to life, to forgiveness, to acceptance, to courage, to risk, to allow – are what makes the journey of life and of love so rich.
I think it was Baz Luhrmann, the director of Strictly Ballroom who once said, “Do not live for your opening nights but rather for the richness of the journey.” Faith is indeed a journey.
I have little time for the “wow” conversion moment – the Paul on his way to Damascus moment for they rarely reflect real life.
The small “g” is grace and God – meant to indicate that our days, our lives, are full of small moments of “courage”, “risk”, “trust”, “forgiveness” and more – crossroad times – and these are our “grace” times and God times – and it is here that we must first “be aware” and then secondly – deliberately invite our God who is love to be in that moment with us.
The First Letter of John reminds us that “God is love”.
This Year of Grace is an invitation to proactively invite that God to walk beside us, be in our eyes as we truly see, unblock our ears to truly hear and soften our hearts to true compassion.
But this journey is so hard and I’m sure that you, like me, have feet of clay.
In my experience the spiritual life is a matter of five-second choices.
So often it is too difficult to scale a huge mountain whether that mountain be physical or moral. So often I am too tired, too weary from the journey, too caught up in my own ego battles.
At those times – those five-second window times – I ask for the “grace” to firstly be aware of that five-second space of God tickling or gentle love whispering – then to have the faith, courage and strength to take one small step towards love.
Many years ago I had a young girl whom I had taught knock on my office door. She had been sexually assaulted during Schoolies Week. She stepped into my office and burst into tears.
As I got up from my desk I felt God nudge me deep inside and heard God say, “Damien, shut up!” I walked over to the young lady and she hugged me and cried tears from deep within.
Her body shook with hurt and shame – her tears wet my shoulder.
All I could do as a celibate man was to come as gently as I could – as a guest – to her deep pain and her sacred story – and be as present as I could.
After some time we sat down and I remember taking her hand in mine as respectfully as I could and said, “I’m so sorry!”
That moment has never left me.
As I reflect on that story I thank my God that I had the awareness to feel that nudge and the inner quiet to hear that God whisper.
For the disciple, our first call is to “come as guest” to the people and events of our lives; the guest comes slowly, respectfully, open to the face and voice of love, of God, that they will encounter in the small five-second moments of life. From guest comes the choice to be deeply present.
Our days are not filled with huge moments like my sacred ground with that past student – rather our days are filled with hundreds of tiny moments – small “g” moments where the ever present and intimate God wants to hug us and smile at us and cry with us – or just be with us or walk beside us.
So we have spring flowers and children’s laughter, the elderly’s often repeated stories, the kindness of a stranger, the small moments where we want to harden hearts or reject or judge and much more.
Our days are filled with hundreds of such moments and each is a five-second choice to awareness and to gift, to love and to celebration.
Don’t see this Year of Grace as a battle to be won but rather an adventure and journey to be savoured and enjoyed. Look down – look in – look to the small things.
Through daily prayer and meditation – attune your heart and eyes to the small moments of your day, to the little people, to the voices and the tugs on your heart.
If you do this – deliberately inviting this crazy God of knowing winks and deep inner hugs to be with you – your eyes will open – a little more each day.
By deliberately practising awareness – the Sacrament of the Present Moment – you will begin to hear more, hear more deeply, hear the voice and story behind the label.
By deliberately using mantras (aspirations) or slow reflective reading or simply engaging in breathing exercises you will grow in awareness and find yourself truly looking at those around you and seeing beyond judgment – you will feel the small “g” grace tug and respond.
All of this requires deep listening and awareness.
How will we know that these small “g” moments are grace moments where we deeply encounter five-second choices/crossroads leading to our small “g” God and not some new cult or new age movement?
Easy – apply St Paul’s test as outlined in Galatians 5:22 – are you more patient, more loving, more joyful, more peaceful, more self-controlled, kinder, more faithful, gentle and forgiving. Or take Paul’s First Letter to the Corinthians Chapter 13; his sermon on love and just place your name all the way through it, “Simon is patient and kind, Simon is never jealous …”
If there is one area where this Year of Grace will shine for you it will be in the area of forgiveness.
For me, forgiveness is almost my litmus test of how I’m walking my small “g” journey.
Forgiveness of self can be one of the hardest roads to walk – forgiveness of those who have harmed us – one of the hardest battles to fight.
But again – in this year – grow in awareness, deliberately invite your God into that moment, into that hurt or anger or shame – and in the small five-second moments of your day; forgive and forgive and forgive.
On this most sacred of journeys do not limit God – the small “g” God, the God of surprises! My Superior General Br Philip Pinto tells the story of a man who came into the God shop and said:
“I would like to buy three dollars worth of God please, not enough to explode my soul or disturb my sleep but just enough to equal a cup of warm milk or a snooze in the sunshine – I don’t want enough of God to make me love a black person or cut cane with a migrant – I want ecstasy not transformation.
I want warmth of the womb – not a new birth. I want a pound of the eternal in a paper sack – I would like to buy three dollars worth of God please.”
Too often we live our lives only buying into $3 worth of God.
Too often we live comfortable theological, moral, spiritual lives that don’t allow the messy God present in the poor and oppressed to touch us.
Too often we look for God in the Vatican and don’t see the widow’s mite, we light candles on side altars at statues and don’t even see the woman at the well nor the blind man sitting by the side of the road.
Enjoy what is left of your Year of Grace – in fact – make every year and every day in it – a journey of grace.
That spiritual journey made up of tens of thousands of small “five-second” choices to come as guest and be present does not ask for the strength and courage to climb the mountain but rather for the small “five-second” love choice, forgiveness choice, acceptance choice right in front of you; right now.
Do not be afraid of this journey for your God, your God of total and unconditional love, walks beside you and lives and hugs within you every five-second choice along the way.
