By Fr John Flader
I am unfortunately divorced due to violence in the home, which caused me to leave with my young son. I now find myself unable to go to communion and I feel very deprived of the spiritual nourishment I need. Is there anything I can do?
WHO told you that you cannot receive communion? You can. The Code of Canon Law teaches – “Any baptised person who is not forbidden by law may and must be admitted to holy communion” (Can. 912).
And who is forbidden by law?
“Those upon whom the penalty of excommunication or interdict has been imposed or declared, and others who obstinately persist in manifest grave sin, are not to be admitted to holy communion” (Can. 915).
Is a divorced person, for the fact of being divorced, committing manifest grave sin? No, they are not, at least not for the mere fact of being divorced.
Only if they are actually living with a new partner and having sexual relations with that person, whether married civilly or not, or they are not living together but are having such relations, would they be committing grave sin
But isn’t it a sin to be divorced? No, not in itself.
We can distinguish two cases. Where a spouse has been the cause of the breakup of the marriage through domestic violence, adultery, sexual abuse, alcoholism, compulsive gambling, etc., they have committed grave sin.
In order to be admitted to Holy Communion they must be sorry for what they have done and seek absolution in the Sacrament of Penance, as well as do all they can to repair the damage and, if possible, resume marital relations with their spouse.
And of course they cannot enter into a new relationship that involves the acts reserved for marriage.
In the case of the spouse who is the victim of the violence or other form of abuse, they have not committed grave sin and so they can most certainly be admitted to Holy Communion, again provided they are not living in sin with another person.
Naturally, it is not always easy, or even possible, to put all the blame for the breakup of a marriage at the feet of one spouse.
Therefore, each one must be sorry for whatever contribution they have made to the breakup of the marriage.
And if, as we have said, one of the spouses is now living in an immoral relationship with another person, they will have to end the relationship before they can receive communion.
Only if they have received an annulment of the marriage from a Church tribunal, are they able to marry a new partner in the Church and be able to receive communion.
Alternatively, if the years have passed and they feel they can abstain from marital intimacy and live “as brother and sister” in the new relationship, they too can be admitted to communion.
This should not be considered harsh.
It was Jesus himself who said, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another, commits adultery against her; and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.” (Mk 10:11-12)
From the beginning, the Church, in obedience to her divine founder, has not allowed divorce and remarriage in the Church.
As a consequence, those who “remarry” outside the Church are considered to be living in a state of sin and cannot be admitted to holy communion.
In this matter, the Church is only being faithful to Christ’s teaching, which concerns the indissolubility and sanctity of marriage, so important for the life of the Church and of society.
Moreover, the Church is not imposing anything on the couple in this irregular marriage situation.
It was they, after all, who freely chose to enter into a relationship in which they knew they would not be able to receive Holy Communion.
While they cannot receive communion, the Church, as the good mother she is, opens her arms wide to welcome people in irregular marriage situations into other aspects of the life of the Church, including attendance at Mass, prayer, reading of Scripture, and participation in the charitable and other works of the Church.
Both the couple and the Church community wait in hope for a time when the couple will once again be able to receive the sacraments, through a declaration of nullity of the previous marriage by a Church tribunal, the decision to live together as brother and sister, or the death of the previous spouse.
