“Hey honey, the bucks day was epic. We got so drunk. I wasted $30 bucks on dinner. Didn’t manage to keep that in my stomach after 87 beers. The strippers were hilarious too. I’ll show you the photos of Dad and I getting a lap dance. I can’t wait to marry you next week. I love you.”
So goes an example of a socially acceptable conversation between soon-to-be husbands and wives these days.
I have attended numerous bucks’ parties in the past year.
Rather than a day of clean fun and a way to thank your mates for all the good times you’ve shared, before pledging yourself forever to your spouse, the atmosphere at many buck’s and hen’s days are of mess, debauchery and chaos.
The day’s events aim to be as spectacular and embarrassing to the buck/hen as possible while the lead up is often a weeklong fear campaign against the buck or hen.
While I personally find the latter type of buck’s day excessive and unenjoyable in large parts, the thing that baffles me most is the complete social acceptance of strippers – both male and female.
This acceptance stems from an increasing culture, or ideology, that marriage is restrictive.
“I’m going to enjoy my last night of freedom”, or “this is my last night before I’m on a permanent leash” are comments often heard at buck’s and hen’s days.
If people believe marriage is so restrictive, why do they bother getting married?
If people believe a buck’s day is their last chance at freedom, and therefore playing around with a random stripper is something they need to tick off their list before they commit themselves to their spouse, I’d suggest they don’t know the true meaning of marriage and freedom.
It’s ironic that a week before their wedding, husbands and wives consider the participation of their soon-to-be spouse with a stripper to be acceptable, or humorous, yet the majority of couples wouldn’t condone it during their subsequent marriage.
“Boys, the wife has given me a leave pass tonight. Let’s go to the strippers. Don’t tell her though.” Standard.
“Boys, the wife has given me a leave pass tonight. She said it’s ok if I go to the strippers.” Rare.
So why are strippers socially acceptable a week before a wedding?
A week before you promise your spouse you will be faithful and true to him or her forever?
A week before you promise your spouse you will be honest and respect him or her forever?
Why is it socially acceptable, and humorous to many, to post photos on social media, often with their Mum or Dad, with a stripper at their buck’s or hen’s day?
When so many people enter marriages with an attitude of “get it out of your system before you get married” or “enjoy your freedom while it lasts”, no wonder more and more marriages are failing.
A spouse who truly loves and respects their partner doesn’t have a desire to engage with a random stripper a week before their wedding.
It’s a shame these days that the high majority of bucks and hens believe strippers are a prerequisite to a fun day.
My buck’s day was spent with my best mates on boat fishing, and later in a couple of favourite pubs.
There was no debauchery, no strippers and no disrespect to my wife.
It was also one of the best days and nights I’ve ever had with my mates.
If only more were like this, and the attitude to marriage was not one of restriction but of joy, happiness, fulfilment and self-giving.
Dom Meese is a young Catholic blogger.